His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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