I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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