Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is the high leading the old right now
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
