quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize