You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
