I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
