week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the day after is always just damage control
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
