I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize