If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
