The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
