we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
