Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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