WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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