my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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