Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
