i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
