You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
