So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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