just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He passed out mid-signature
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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