why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
