they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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