Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
