i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
