she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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