Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
