Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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