What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
did you just send me my own nude
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
