I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
