I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
