$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
