She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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