did you get engaged???
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
