I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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