I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
