billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
