she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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