I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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