the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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