i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
