Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
