Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
