Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
