He told me they were just razor bumps!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
