It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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