Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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