Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
