this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
