I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
