Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is the high leading the old right now
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
