Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
vagina is talking i cant
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
