no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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