Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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