On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
