I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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