No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
