I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
