I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Pooping to opera.
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