There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
