Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
