The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
