trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You left your phone here
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