So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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