Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
