you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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